Friday, 3 October 2014


In the part 1 and part 2 of this article, I discussed the important things and the essential elements of a sweet relationship respectively. In this part 3, I will be discussing practical ways of conflict resolution in marriage. Marriage is a mixture of sweetness and bitterness, but the way you go about it is what makes the difference. Conflict in relationships is inevitable hence the necessity
of this article. Below are my self-conceived and tested ways by which conflicts can be amicably resolved in relationships. Don't go away.
Think on your feet
Critically analyse the cause of the conflict and sincerely point out your fault(s). Put yourself in the other person's shoe; won't you react the same way or even worse than the other person were you to be treated the same way the other person was treated. Even if you could have endured the ugly treatment, still remember that we all defer in terms of endurance. So, excuse that person. Remember, I said think on your feet; don't complain to your parents, siblings, friends or anybody so that nobody will influence your decision.
What are those qualities that attracted you to your partner at the start of your union? I mean those splendid attributes/characters that got you attracted to him/her at the start of your union. Are they still there or have they disappeared? Are you too busy to notice them anymore or were they signs of pretence in the first place? If they are still existing, why not fix your gaze on them and overlook the rest. It is said that a successful marriage is seen between a blind wife and a deaf husband. Are you catching the joke? I hope so.

Run away from intoxicants
Some people do run to alcohol, drugs or a fresh lover whenever they have misunderstanding with their partners. That's cowardice! You've got to take the bull by the horn. Face it head on because it will not kill you, rather it will make you stronger at the end. You can give each other space but use the time to critically think about the good aspects of your partner, and most importantly pray. Some marital differences are irreconcilable today not because of the initial cause of the conflict but because of the wrong steps the parties took during the conflict. Some men ended up in polygamous marriage today because they confided in their mistresses during a misunderstanding with their wives. Some women are out of their marriages today because they ran to their "sugar boys" for consolation during conflict with their husbands. How sure are you that, that mistress or sugar boy of yours will do better than your partner were he/she to be in marriage with you this long? Think about it.

Having come to this stage of our discussion, it is time to swallow your pride and ask for forgiveness. You mustn't apologise only when you are at fault. If you so much cherish your union, you should be everly ready to do anything to make it work, and that includes apologising even when you are not at fault. Who even deserves your unsolicited apology if not your partner? Let outsiders call you names, it does not really matter, rather what matters is that you both are living happily together. Let your husband rule you after all the Bible made us to understand that he is head of the family. Let your wife influence your decisions in every affair after all she is the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh. Come together, apologise to each other, forgive and forget all that happened and be happy again.

Revive your relationship
Rekindle the light of your union by going out on a date (please your kids should not be part of this outing if you have one), spend reasonable time together and buy new gifts for each other. Yes! Let everything about your union be made afresh as if you just met each other few days ago. God bless your union. Here are part 1 and part 2 of this article.

Best wishes

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